No, I never served anyone a sandwich made of squirrel meat. I have eaten barbecued squirrel, however, and it was quite tasty. Anyway, the sandwiches in question were actually filched by a squirrel right before my first ever serious party. My first apartment was a cramped studio, so I couldn't entertain at all. When I finally was able to move to a bigger place, I was so excited that I threw a big housewarming party with 36 guests. I cooked much of the food myself, but also ordered some vegetable, fruit, and sandwich trays from the local Dominick's. After I got all the trays home, I realized that I didn't have room for all of them in my refrigerator. Since it was a really cold day, I decided that it'd be OK to leave a few of them on the back porch for a couple of hours.
When it was time to get everything set up, I went out to the porch to retrieve the trays and discovered that a squirrel had bitten through the plastic cover of one of the trays and had stolen a couple of sandwiches. I was horrified--and conflicted. On the one hand, I obviously didn't want to serve my guests sandwiches that had been touched by a filthy squirrel. On the other hand, I was raised in a working-class family in which wasting food was considered to be a cardinal sin. Furthermore, those sandwiches had cost me a pretty penny, so I couldn't take the idea of throwing away a whole tray of them lightly.
After I got over my initial shock, I looked at the sandwiches more closely and saw that the remaining sandwiches were untouched, with no telltale bite or paw marks. Apparently, the squirrel had just pulled the ones he/she wanted through the hole and left the rest of them alone. Even so, I decided to get rid of all the sandwiches that were immediately below the hole in the plastic cover and the ones closest to them, to avoid possible contamination with squirrel cooties. I only had to throw away about a quarter of the sandwiches, so it wasn't a total waste. Even so, I learned my lesson--never underestimate the resourcefulness of squirrels.
When it was time to get everything set up, I went out to the porch to retrieve the trays and discovered that a squirrel had bitten through the plastic cover of one of the trays and had stolen a couple of sandwiches. I was horrified--and conflicted. On the one hand, I obviously didn't want to serve my guests sandwiches that had been touched by a filthy squirrel. On the other hand, I was raised in a working-class family in which wasting food was considered to be a cardinal sin. Furthermore, those sandwiches had cost me a pretty penny, so I couldn't take the idea of throwing away a whole tray of them lightly.
After I got over my initial shock, I looked at the sandwiches more closely and saw that the remaining sandwiches were untouched, with no telltale bite or paw marks. Apparently, the squirrel had just pulled the ones he/she wanted through the hole and left the rest of them alone. Even so, I decided to get rid of all the sandwiches that were immediately below the hole in the plastic cover and the ones closest to them, to avoid possible contamination with squirrel cooties. I only had to throw away about a quarter of the sandwiches, so it wasn't a total waste. Even so, I learned my lesson--never underestimate the resourcefulness of squirrels.
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